I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
