well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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