My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
