You work out of a Hotel?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
