quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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