I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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