I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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