never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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