forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
