ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize