I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
