He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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