I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
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