I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
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