i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
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