I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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