ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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