Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
