I think im going to throw up on grandma
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
