you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
