Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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