then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
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I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
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I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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