Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
