Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
