Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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