He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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