Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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