I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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