Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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