Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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