is wine microwaveable?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
