Duck Duck Cougar?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
