just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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