Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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