i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
