you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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