I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
