I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
