I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
no you cant smoke seaweed
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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