no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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