I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
