That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
