I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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