I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
