I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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