Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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