stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
