areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
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And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
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he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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