Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize