they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
