the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
