I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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