If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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