My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
