New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
