And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
