in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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