Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
