I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
