Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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