erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize