Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
